I am sharing a post that I worked on for Don’s blog. It took us only 10 months to plan it, after all.

What has always occupied my mind is love and its ingredients: What does love mean? When do you decide you love someone? Is there really a difference between falling in love, being in love, and loving? Where does love come from? Let  me quickly point out that this post is not meant to answer all or any of those questions. Not only because it would take more than a brief blog to answer these complex questions, but also because if I actually knew the answers to all these questions, I would be enjoying a comfortable retirement, most likely in Corsica.

What stands out most to me about having a lover is that you see a fluffy cloud against the pale blue of the sky and you think of them, that you know you are susceptible to pain by allowing them to explore all corners of your being and yet you are willing to set them free in your soul. I know conventionally we think of our heart as the place our lover resides, but the truth is that it is our brains that are engaged. We not just let them traverse all crevices of our brain, but we welcome it. In doing so, we allow them to see the light and the purity within us. At the same time, we explore the dark corners of our being with them.  This is what these pictures exemplify for me – the vulnerability of both the light and the darkness within.

And of course, as it is my habit, songs and poems bloom in my head during a shoot.  If you have been following my stream, I am going through a Neruda phase.

 the_unbearable_lightness_of_being

Excerpt from Love Poem XIV
from Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair (Veinte Poemas de Amor y una Cancion Desesperada)

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the gray light unwind in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.

I want
to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

Original:

Ahora, ahora también, pequeña, me traes madreselvas,
y tienes hasta los senos perfumados.
Mientras el viento triste galopa matando mariposas
yo te amo, y mi alegría muerde tu boca de ciruela.

Cuánto te habrá dolido acostumbrarte a mí,
a mi alma sola y salvaje, a mi nombre que todos ahuyentan.
Hemos visto arder tantas veces el lucero besándonos los ojos
y sobre nuestras cabezas destorcerse los crepúsculos en abanicos girantes.

Mis palabras llovieron sobre ti acariciándote.
Amé desde hace tiempo tu cuerpo de nácar soleado.
Hasta te creo dueña del universo.
Te traeré de las montañas flores alegres, copihues,
avellanas oscuras, y cestas silvestres de besos.

Quiero hacer contigo
lo que la primavera hace con los cerezos.

take_me_to_the_dark_side_don_leda

Love Sonnet XVII
from 100 Love Sonnets (Cien sonetos de amor) 

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Original:

No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de chaveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de si, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que acendio de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber como, ni cuando, ni de donde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
asi te amo porque no se amar de otra manera,

sino asi de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mia,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueno.

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Someone recently introduced me to Kings of Leon. I have somewhat of an eclectic taste when it comes to music. I am a lover of music, simply cannot imagine life without it, without exploring it, and without a chance to be immersed in it. Before I go on a tangent as is my habit, back to Kings of Leon.  When I find music, that is either new or just new to me, then I listen to the band/singer over and over, dance to it if possible, and look for their every album. (Boy, am I grateful for spotify or what!) These days, it also makes me miss one of my very dear SL friends who used to DJ and whom I could bug with all kinds of song requests during her sets so that we could share the music and our love for it. (sigh…..Miss you Miss O)

These past days, I have been listening to their song Wait For Me. The first time I listen to a song, I love knowing the lyrics. It helps me connect. It is also because I am a wannabe poet, so lyrics are very important to me. So, for those of you who might listen to it for the first time, I have the lyrics for you below.

2014-1115_wait-up-final

Jacket: Gizza, Asyimmetrical Leather (Blue); Pants: Gizza, Josie Pants (corduroy); Shoes: Gos, Isabella; Hands: SLink ; Hair: Vanity, Wipe Out
 

The story behind the picture is as follows. As I mentioned in the last post, I have not been coming to SL as regularly as I used to. Actually, I came back after a long absence and have been easing myself back in. Slowly. I am also having a love-hate relationship with being homeless. On the one hand, it is liberating. On the other hand, I miss having my own sandbox to set up scenes and play about.  Anyhow, since I came back homeless, I have not been changing as often as I used to (coughs softly).  This outfit is from Gizza, and I am loving it and loving living in it.  As I was contemplating changing, I landed on this pose and seemed like a perfect fit for the song I was listening to. Alas, my SL comes to full circle: once again an RL experience inspires an SL moment.

In case you are wondering what I like about this outfit, here is the in-world snapshot before I started goofing off with it.  I probably should have left it alone.  Oh, it is also the first snapshot with my new laptop.  I think I am going to like this new lappy!

2014-1115_wait-up

Gonna open my heart
Right at the scars
Listen up
Gonna do what I’m told
Go where I’m told
And listen up
Take a shot in the rain
Walk for the pain
And listen up
I tried all the way…
Wait for me, wait for me
It’s all better now, it’s all better now
Wait for me, wait for me
Gonna soften the blow
Soften the blow
And give it up
I saw the surprise
The look in your eyes
I gave it up
Gonna be who I am
Be who I am
And give it up

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I have come back from a fairly extensive break.  The reasons for it are in multitude and out of the scope of this rambling. But, breaks have been known to be undoubtedly helpful – whether at work or at play.  I think the same rule applies to SL.  While, after 7.5 years, I had a satisfactory SL with lots of friends & laughs, my SL had started to become a bit stale too. It didn’t have enough pull to take me away from RL.  That is not the reason I took a leave of absence. My reasons were purely centered around some wonderful (ok, and some not so wonderful) happenings in RL.  Nevertheless, its effect on SL will be good. I can already feel it. Here is how I know.

Today for the first time, after a long time, I actually logged in world. To hang around. To be in it. I yet have to unpack my (newly built) machine, so I just poked my head in using my little lappy.  The wonderfulness of multi-exclamation-point greetings (!!!), the offers to visit, to bring me up to date, to chat, hug & play, all filled my little heart with a flood of love and joy.  It brought about the kind of chuckles and fun that I had forgotten SL offers. And, before I knew it, hours had passed.

Needless to say, I ended up snapping a photo too, albeit on my tired old little lappy.  As always, a single line in a song, or a poem, or sometimes even a look in someone’s eyes can inspire a photograph in me.  You might have noticed that I often have words posted with my pictures. I used to post a disclaimer that a song/poem/narrative has nothing to do with real events. Then, I gave up. I got tired of posting it for each photo, so I got rid of the disclaimer. It is still true though that songs, poems, lyrics are just an inspiration. They are not the narrative of my life – SL or RL. 

This photograph was inspired by a little song that has been in my head for a few days.  The song was played in an episode of The Sopranos.  Some of you might know that I almost never during my adult life have had a TV. Once in a while I get inspired to look up a series that was popular in its time, and binge watch to see what all the hoopla is about. So, this fall it has been The Sopranos. The song has stayed with me since I watched the Captain episode.

So, yeah. It is not the case that I don’t have friends, or that I have lied, or that anyone is my captain. In fact, if you know me at all, you will know that the thought of my giving up the helm is rather hilariously funny. If it ever happened, it would be a rare thing.

my_second_wind

LODE, Kamilla headwear; Blacklace Beauty, eyeliner no 1; Glam Affair, Zara skin; Glam Affair, Cleo freckles; IKON, Destiny eyes; ARGRACE, Haruka hair

Well I don’t have as many friends because
I’m not as pretty as I was
I’ve kicked myself at times because I’ve lied
So I will have to learn to stand my ground
I’ll tell ‘em I won’t be around
I’ll move on over to your town and hide

And you be the captain and I’ll be no-one
And you can carry me away if you want to
And you can lay low, just like your father
And if I tread upon your feet you just say so
‘Cos you’re the captain, I am no-one
I tend to feel as though I owe one to you, to you

Well I have handed all my efforts in
I searched here for my second wind
Is there someone here to let me in? I asked
So I slammed the doors they slammed at me
I found the place I’m meant to be
I figured out my destiny at last

You be the captain and I’ll be no-one
And you can carry me away if you want to
And you can lay low, just like your father
And if I tread upon your feet you just say so
‘Cos you’re the captain, I am no-one
I tend to feel as though I owe one to you, to you

Did I forget to thank you for the ride
I hadn’t tried I tend to runaway and hide

You be the captain and I’ll be no-one
And you can carry me away if you want to
And you can lay low, just like your father
And if I tread upon your feet you just say so
‘Cos you’re the captain, I am no-one
I tend to feel as though I owe one to you

You’re the captain, I am no-one
I tend to feel as though I owe one to you,
You’re the captain and I am no-one
And I owe one to you

-sung by Kasey Chambers (give a listen to a live version here)

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I have been promising that I am going to write about the Lonely Places Series (The set can be found here).  I don’t know if this suffices, but if I keep waiting until I have enough time to feel like I am doing it justice, this may never happen.  Such is the life of a perfectionist, unfortunately.  Before I dive into a tangent as is my habit, let me tell you how this concept came to life.  I have noticed that how much variation there is among the people I know – well, mostly my friends, as we tend not to confide in non-friends about being lonely – in terms of whether they like being alone, whether they see being alone resulting in positive outcomes – like reflecting on life, freedom in action & in thought, and so on – and whether they see being alone as being lonely.  For me, the two are significantly different.  I have been lonely among people, and I have been alone without being lonely.  Nevertheless, I started thinking about what kinds of places reflect loneliness, and what we can get from that feeling.  I certainly don’t believe that being lonely is necessarily nor consistently a negative space. Nor do I think it is positively so.  It depends on what you need at that moment, and where your head is.

Today’s photograph came from my realizing that often one feels lonely because one feels trapped – and more often than not, our traps are self-made. We create our own cages and our own traps. Which means it is only ourselves who will free us and bring about freedom.  It reminds me of this line from John Steinbeck’s East of Eden: “And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world.”

lonely_places_traps

Outfit: Zibska, Aoide; Horns: RO, Baphomet; Skin: Glam Affair, Zara; Hair: Shi, Blown; Pose: e9&heavyT, Baby2

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Meet SL Artist: Sina Souza

I am not a big fan of quotes; mostly because it seems like people are attached to them without actually applying them in their lives, or considering them deeply in terms of their consequences.  Nevertheless, I want to open this piece by a quote from Maya Angelou – not just because her loss is tremendous [...]

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Meet SL Photographer: Marcopol Oh

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Meet SL Photographer: NicBor

As many of you know, I spend a fair amount of time on flickr looking at various artists’  work and following their evolution, and their favorite works.  The main reason for this is that our photography series (Meet SL Photographer) started with the mission to introduce artists that make the world look amazing – either [...]

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Zibska: A Fashionable Marriage of Art and Innovation

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Leda’s Rambling: Go Ahead, Expose the Skeletons in Your Closet

  2012 releases- outfit: Gizza, Passion and Glory; skin: [PXL], Kate Damned; hair: Vita, Irene; ring: P.C., Polished Stones; @Black Kite If you are about to tell me that you don’t have any skeletons in your closet, I will tell you that you probably have not lived a full life.  I don’t care how conservative [...]

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Leda’s Rambling: Trees Are Made of Me

Dress: Zibska, Corvo; Hair: Zibska, Epoque; Pose: Del May, Exquisite; Location: World’s End Garden My nephew of two and a half years old stands in front of the mirror admiring all of his own 2.5ft covered in a white button-down shirt and jeans. “I am a boy!” he half-screams. “Yes, you are!” I smile back. [...]

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